Nine tips on caring for your aging parents

Lots of Baby Boomers transition into caring for aging parents. First you're doing their shopping. Then taking them to medical appointments. Soon, making sure bills get paid on time.

Personal finance expert Eric Tyson says "the best way to deal with this important life transition is to plan ahead for the impact the change will have on your parents, while not allowing these changes to take away from your own quality of life."

Easier said than done, right?

Tyson's new book, written with Bob Carlson, includes suggestions about how to help--without turning efforts into a depressing, full-time endeavor. They include:

1. Leverage other's experiences. Find others who have dealt with similar issues, through outreach coordinators or social workers at local senior centers. You may even discover support groups that are helpful. Also, speak with people you already know. You may be surprised how many friends and family members have been down the same road.

2. Ask for professional help. Tap social service agencies, which exist at all levels of government and are rarely advertised.

3. Invest in their health. Be proactive rather than having to react after a problem becomes evident. Focus on a concern that their health be the best it can be.

4. Get your parents' affairs in order. Contemplating one's mortality usually isn't enjoyable, but it's important to have a completed will and estate plan. "Although you may not have the slightest selfish interest in inheriting some of their money and assets, other family members may have a different take on your intentions," Tyson explains. "Be sensitive to their feelings and privacy regarding their finances and what happens with their estate upon passing."

5. Examine housing and medical care options. Be careful not to leap to conclusions about what is best for the situation.

6. Use caregiver agreements. In many families, younger members help care for older members for at least a brief period. Families should pay attention to the details and rules regarding this care partly to ensure they receive maximum benefits and partly so each member will feel he or she is treated fairly.

7. Separate living spaces if parents are moving in. Many families find that this will help set boundaries and cause less interruption of family time by the care needs of an elderly relative.

8. Take care of your family. It's easy to feel overwhelmed, between work and other commitments and caring for an elderly parent. But don't forget your immediate family, your spouse and children.

9. Take care of yourself. The best givers often tend to really neglect their own needs and their own health.